Do you know your story?
We all have a story that defines who we are, why we feel what we feel, believe what we believe and perceive the world the way we do. Our stories are what happened to us, or what didn’t happen, what we experienced, the messages we received or didn’t receive from significant people in our lives. Our story often dictates our consciousness or unconscious choices and can fuel the ways we react or respond in situations.
Knowing and owning your story is an important part of your healing process. Our story often involves some unconscious parts or material that might have happened when we were very young. We may have used a defense mechanism to keep the memories, emotions or thoughts blocked. Sometimes our story causes us to feel shame, unworthy, and interferes with our ability to be authentic and vulnerable. Our unprocessed stories hold a lot of power in our lives.
We either own our stories or our stories own us! So often themes of our stories repeat until we become more conscious.
Until you make the unconscious, conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Carl Jung
When I am working with clients we do a time line of their life starting with their birth story and work forward. We create of genogram of the previous generation of relatives and work our way to their parents stories. Your grandparents stories impact your parent’s story which impacted your story as well. We even discuss their birth story and first two years of life. Even though it’s not possible for most people to form picture memories before 18 months old, the body holds the emotional and somatic memories. Understanding generational hardships, abuse, trauma and dysfunctional behaviors, can help you gain insight and compassion for yourself and family members. It’s can be a challenging, but necessary step to fully know and embrace your whole story.
There is freedom once we can face and process the parts of our story that were hurtful and difficult to endure. Owning and processing your story is a wonderful gift you give to yourself and those who are in your life. You can discover ways to have self- compassion and love yourself in a deeper way. Knowing and processing your story allows for new choices, feelings, perceptions, beliefs and opportunities to open up.
With more wisdom and insight, you can begin to change your current story by making more conscious choices and create a new narrative. You come to understand that you can take your power back and create something new and healthier for yourself. You now possess the power and profound insights that can be a catalyst to change the next generations story too!
I hope you choose to be courageous and discover, own, process and heal from your unique story.
It may be necessary to seek out professional help to give you type of support you need to hold and process difficult parts of your story.
With new insights and awareness you realize you now hold the pen!
You are now the author!
By doing this you will also give permission for others to do the same.
Go and create a beautiful story of overcoming, healing and a life you are happy with and proud to live!
Kelli Leader Cook
Hopeful Insights Consulting